Last Sunday my wife and I decided, albeit after some sleep from waiting ten hours to get one of the first Wii units at Target, to head out to Burger King upon hearing they were finally offering their trio of games: Sneak King, Big Bumpin’, and Pocketbike Racing. For only $3.89/each—somehow they were discounted at the local BK—we figured we’d just pick them all up at once with the mandatory purchase of a single “value meal.”

For the most part, we weren’t disappointed. After rousing sessions of Wii Sports and checking out the other Wii titles we picked up earlier in the day, we figured we’d pop these Xbox360/Xbox titles in and see what these walking advertisements were made of. Let’s go down the list, taking into weighted consideration that these aren’t full-fledged games, but smaller games that could have easily been compiled into a single title:

Sneak King: This title might as well be called “How To Become a Serial Rapist”, or at the very least, “Stalk King” based on the obvious premise of Burger King’s mascot and his tendency to sneak up on folks to deliver crippling doses of rohypnol allegedly delicious foodstuffs. For as monotonous (and mildly buggy) a title as it seems, you can’t help but enjoy this title for the four bucks you pay for it. The graphics are passable (though I only have a classic Xbox—not a 360) and the title somehow provides more fun than I think I should be having without a psychiatric evaluation. Out of 10, I’d have to give it an 8. While it’s only that high because of the original premise and creative execution, Sneak King should still provide a few nights worth of creepy fun before you ultimately beat the game and leave it in your media rack collecting dust. I have to admit, though, the concept is one of the most original I’ve seen since Katamari Damacy—in a strange “criminal action” kind of way. No, I’m not kidding. Then again, this isn’t exactly the kind of game you want dozens of “pretenders to the throne” cloning, either.

Big Bumpin’: Probably my favorite of the bunch when it comes to multiplayer functionality, this title is more along the lines of Fusion Frenzy and really quite fun. Basically, the title revolves around skidding around in a bumper car through a variety of minigames with up to three other players. From hockey to deathmatch, there’s something here to keep everyone amused for a while. Well worth the four dollars, and probably the only title you’ll pull out more than a handful of times. I give this one a strong 8 out of 10 as well. Add a few friends and you won’t be disappointed in this gem.

Pocketbike Racing: The most disappointing of the bunch, but still fun if you haven’t already grown weary of the typical Mario Kart format. As the title suggests, this game is based on various characters from the Burger King universe racing on those tiny fad motorcycles responsible for maiming kids nationwide. The best part? Watching the Whopper Jr. fellow from the commercials riding around like the McCrary Twins. Some of the tracks are a bit too difficult and confusing for the casual gamer, which reduces its enjoyability a bit; my wife got stuck more times than I care to count and grew frustrated the more she played. Other than the kitsch factor of watching a giant slab of beef and bun drive around (in addition to the King, Subservient Chicken, and others), there’s nothing really special here. 5 out of 10. I’ll give you 6.5 out of 10 if you’re a sucker for generic Mario Kart clones and halfway good at them—but no more than that.

In any case, for four bucks each, you really can’t go wrong. Even Pocketbike Racing is worth the dough, despite my misgivings. Burger King’s revived what was once thought to be a foregone trend since the 2600 and abandonware days—videogames based on blatant corporate advertising—and did it well for the most part. It remains to be seen if this is both the alpha and omega of BK Games, but if not, they might just be onto something.

Until then, it’s time to get back to some Wii action.

It would appear that some folks who paid stand-ins and took other desperate measures to purchase PS3s for resale didn’t take into account the most basic of economic laws when it came to actually selling their units.

Take a look at eBay and you’ll see what I mean—a total glut of systems has dropped their projected sale prices virtually in half, now averaging $1,070 versus $2,500+ not even 48 hours ago. Resellers who foolishly placed an exhorbitantly high reserve on units are now unable to offload them without conceding defeat and possibly, in some cases, even taking a loss depending on how they obtained them.

Let this be a lesson to future resellers-to-be: When you take a distributed rollout where quantities are incredibly scarce and consolidate them into a centralized marketplace—in this case, eBay—you’re just asking for disappointment. They’ve in effect taken away the scarcity quotient so they’re even easier to find than before, even if the actual quantity released remains the same. It’s that consolidation of paths of availability that made all the difference and screwed the resellers in the end. Some would say it was deserved.

Inside, I’m laughing a little bit at the stupidity of it all. That said, I’m out to grab a Nintendo Wii here in about a half-hour.

As some special folks have already obtained their Wii units, here’s some footage from Destructoid opening theirs:

7.5 days left and counting…

Which system do I remove from the living room in order to make space for the Wii? At present, I have the following systems sitting in the living room, hooked up to play at a moment’s notice:

Sega Dreamcast, Playstation 2, Microsoft Xbox, SNK Neo Geo CD (top-loader), and the Atari Jaguar/JaguarCD combo kit.

Now, the Xbox obviously isn’t going anywhere—it’s been decked out with XBMC and used extensively for a couple of years now. The PS2, Xbox, and Dreamcast all share the same cables, so they’re easy to keep managed. As for the Jaguar, it’s probably still the third most-played system I’ve got, behind the Xbox and PS2, so there’s a lot of love left for it.

Looks like the Neo Geo CD’s going to be taking a small vacation, after all. Even though I’ve got 40 games or so for it, I’ve got copies set up in emulation (and minus that long loading time the system’s famous for, to boot) so it looks to be the unfortunate loser this time around.

Now, of course, this is predicated on the hope that I actually can manage to obtain a Wii on launch day next weekend. (Thanks to Sony for suing Lik-Sang, where I placed my preorder, out of existence.) To that end, I’ll be placing myself in the middle of a perfect triangle of opportunity—right between CompUSA, Target, and a Sears—in hopes of maximizing the opportunity to snag one as soon as they open. (Perhaps it’s a square, as there’s also a Circuit City within 250 feet, to boot.)

In any case, next weekend’s going to be interesting, to say the least.

...is going to be a fairly early day for me. According to this list obtained by an insider at Target, it appears the location closest to me will be receiving but 39 units, supposedly for launch day.

Here’s hoping I’m not at the end of a 100-person line.